4 posts in a day huh? I'm not done yet though. I really appreciate the comments and IM's asking if I'm fine and all. I'm fine. The concern shown really made me happy. <3
One thing going through my mind that makes me somewhat lost is that I've not always been the person I am now. If I show confidence, charm, cool, wit, cocky and most of the other personality traits that I usually show at work or in a social setting, most of them are all developed and learned over time. What about the old me? The shy quiet guy who doesn't know how to socialize? What happened to that dude? Should he be forgotten? I am still that dude though. I am shy and quiet. I am self conscious and afraid. I hated getting compliments. I know some of them are considered as improvements but people don't really change their personalities that fast though.
I'll give an example. I don't like to socialize. I don't like to talk to people I don't know. One year ago, if I need to know something about my bank for instance, I would try my best not to call. I would check online. I would ask my friends. Six months ago, I would call the bank no problem. Even before checking up online sometimes. Three months ago, if i buy stuff at the store I would just pay up and leave. Now... I can even banter with the cashier at times.
One thing I should really trash is the cockiness I've come to develop. I hate getting compliments usually. It embarrasses me. So what do I do with it now? If someone says I look young, I'll say "I KNOW!". If someone says I'm photogenic (I AM NOT!), I will say "I KNOW!". Aaaaaaand it goes with every other thing also, even for the things that I don't believe is true. Even I am annoyed with myself when I do that!
I'm not saying that I hate myself now. I won't be suitable for the line of work I'm currently in if I don't have the traits I have now anyways. It's just typical symptom of a person getting older I suppose. Reminiscing and remembering the old days.